I'm being melancholy today or should I say, for a little bit longer than usual because I can't accept the truth. I know I can't express it anymore to u but, well, this is my place so let me breathe a little bit and do things that could ease me.
I guess it has been awhile. Maybe I needs a get away trip but since we're in mco, I just needs to calm down. That's all I could do. How helpless I'm, right? I really can't wait to get back to my place. Or should I just get a new place, a new environment and a new me? I donno.
I'm sad. Maybe it's not enough to expressed things I've been bottle inside me all this while. I've been ignoring texts unless important one. Getting more sleeps. Lose my sleep cycle. Hesitate to do things. Even my slippers tot that I've buy a new pair, I guess. Haha Atiqah is so funny. How ironic is it? The one we wanted the most to tells how much painful it is, is the one we can't reach anymore. What ifs are really not easy to handle. It can breaks u apart anytime. I tell u, this time, maybe I'm not prepared enough. But who can be prepare for this, is it?
How hard to stay sane when all the insane things come across ur mind? How to not lose urself when all the things u wanna do is ...
There's nothing I could do even when I wanted to. There's nothing I could say. At this moment, all I could do is pray. Let it heals or Im gonna be away.
#ps: still missing u.
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